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About the eBook

“Day in and day out, we’re all encumbered with horrible circumstances."
Eric S. Townsend

Heavy sits the tiara.

Each day in America, all of us are plagued by the slightest of setbacks. The author reaches into the complaint box (a.k.a. posts on social media walls) for this tongue-in-cheek look at what must be truly unbearable pains. The collection is a spinoff on the phenomenon known on Twitter as #firstworldproblems.

Be forewarned: this collection is dry, subtle, smirking humor. That's because the posts are real and not designed to be jokes (at least not in the traditional sense).

"Under all wrongdoing lies personal vanity, or the feeling that we are endowed and privileged beyond our fellows."
James Stephens

Enjoy the subtle (and not so subtle) sarcasm in this stark tour of the privileged — the spoiled brats, drama queens and more who truly have it rough! Many more to come in Volume 2 and beyond.

FIRST WORLD MALADIES is available in audio book for $7.

Praise from Readers

"I puked a little bit in my mouth—but I signed up for that sort of self-abuse!"
Sue P.
"What's worse than listening to a bunch of people complain about the one or two things in their lives that aren't perfect? I don't know why this read was so enjoyable LOL."
Frank R.
"These people are sick, very sick. Their existence is a bitter pill to swallow!"
Jennifer F.
"I've been looking at what my friends post on Facebook under a totally different lens. I want to be more careful about what I post and what I think is unfortunate in my life. I don't want to end up in Townsend's next book."
Mia D.
"Devilish. Right up my alley."
Juanita H.
"I didn't get this at first. Then my wife pointed out the subtlety and entitlement in other things around us. That brought me back to this book. Yeah, I'm not a fan of princesses."
Durell R.


I don't want the pool boy to see me in sweats!
Malady 1

No saffron served on the rice en route to Dubai.
Malady 66

Our regional currency is tanking.
Malady 95

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Best of all? First World Maladies is FREE!

You'll receive a PDF booklet.
This publication features traditional
book formatting and a full-color cover.

FIRST WORLD MALADIES is available in audio book for $7.